Don't Judge a Book By Its Cover. How I Became Aware of My Unconscious Stereotype

I previously published a version of this post on 10/23/14. Since newer readers may not have seen it, I've revised it a bit and I'm sharing it again. 

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Never judge a book by its cover is a worn-out cliché, but it is true advice that I should have remembered during a brief encounter in the past.

The covers on these books have seen better days, but the contents are still classic. 

I visited an auto parts store to buy jumper cables

Almost a dozen years ago, I stopped at an auto parts store one afternoon to look for the jumper cables. I had promised these would be our donation for the “car-care items basket" my son’s class was assembling, to be auctioned at the School PTA fundraiser later in the week.

I wandered up and down the somewhat scruffy and cluttered aisles, feeling very out of my element. I was surrounded by people who all seemed comfortable locating what they needed. I perused every aisle, but couldn’t find the jumper cables.

The store shelves were disorganized and I was overwhelmed

My frustration mounted and I was nearly ready to concede defeat and leave empty-handed. Suddenly, a man in dusty jeans and a rumpled store vest approached and said, “I’ll be with you in just a moment, Ma’am.” (He must have read my mind . . .)

Seconds after he spoke to me, my eyes spied an inexpensive “Emergency Car Kit.” The label bragged that it included all sorts of emergency items, including the jumper cables I had hoped to buy. Lying partially covered by another item on a bottom shelf, I had nearly missed seeing it. 

I was taken by surprise by the excellent customer service

When the salesperson returned to my side, I asked him if the contents of the kit were accurately depicted on the packaging, and told him why I needed it. He confirmed the contents. 

To my surprise though, he added,

 

“But you probably want another one. This box is torn and stained, and the packaging is cut through. Let me look in the back, as I think we have a newer-looking one there.”

My first impressions were so wrong

I was very taken aback, and more than a little ashamed of myself. Somehow, I had negatively stereotyped this person, based on my observation of the disorganization of the shelves and grimy floor, and even (unforgivably) his gender and unprofessional attire. 

I recognized the absurdity of my unconscious stereotype while shopping for jumper cables.

I wrongly assumed that the untidy store was staffed by people who were indifferent about both the products and the needs of the consumers. It had seemed that details such as the packaging and aesthetic appearance of an item would have been unnoticeable and unimportant to them.

Not only did this salesperson find an impeccable emergency car kit for me, but he also voluntarily provided some store coupons and a free t-shirt as a donation from the store to include in the basket as well.

This man was quite different from the stereotype I had unconciously and inaccuratedly applied to him.

The take-away from this story

As I recall, the “car-care” basket was a popular item at the auction. I'm hopeful my family’s contribution provided a feeling of security and perhaps some safety for the driver who acquired it. 

I’m sure the car-care basket was a worthwhile item on which to bid. The lesson I learned from it, however, was priceless. I recognized the absurdity of my unconscious stereotyping while shopping for the jumper cable. 

It’s not always easy, but I hope I learned to be more careful about making impulsive judgments before I really know someone.

When was the last time you made an assumption about a person, but once you got to know them better, you realized it was not true?

 

Please keep social distancing, wear a mask, wash your hands, get vaccinated, and stay healthy!

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